alone with hope

fool or wise, I just spent some time crying over lost loves, feeling the empty feeling left after the pain fades to bittersweet and foggy memories that appear more transparent than visceral... I was inspired in this nobel endeavor (I figure maybe if I call it noble and put some pomp and circumstance around it, it'll amuse me more and help the sad pass into the laughter that always seems to find a way to replace the sad when I just realize that I still care and want to care and somebody just might understand and care too and be amused too and then I don't feel so all alone and cold and hopeless, so homour leads to hope, yay, a sad yay like a sigh, but a yay nonetheless)... ummm, humor too (love typos)...

maybe I'm not as so mostly dead as I think I am sometimes...

I was saying that I was inspired to this self-indulgences by my dear friend (hey, I can be hopeful and take the leap of faith that we'll be friends someday if just cuz I want to) who proved her sincerity in being fearlessly exposed as honestly as possible out here in the public word-world by writing an entry (that may or may not bring closure, but hopefully brings something good) about her broken heart...

I know a broken heart very personally...

I think maybe that a broken heart is not just a universal symbol, but it is one of those lowest common denominator feelings that, if we dare see beyong our defenses, proves everyone is so very much the same at their core being... like we are all from the same stuff (god, sub-quarks, the energy of the eternal infinity, something that connects everything) and if we can just get past our individualized egos long enough (a moment may be all it takes), then we can experience the oneness of the feeling that prophets and sages over the years have tried to describe (and were revered or killed for trying when too many just would not get past their own defenses long enough to get it, to get in touch with it themselves)...

this is my dedication to a broken heart, dedicated to Alex, because Alex inspired me to remember tonight...

I read these words and felt alone and I transposed my experiences and tried to make it universal in the hope that it would relate to your experiences and help if only to express and prove we all experiences it and we all can come back from the deepest darkest disappointments and oh so endless ouchies (personally, I return to my child-words, ouchies instead of pain, for instance, to get through my losses)... I have faith in you that you will you find a way through yours... your mind, heart, body, and spirit are treasures, Alex, and deserve the love and respect and devotion any one can give another... hang on to hope until the right one comes along and until then, do your thing, have your fun, sing your song...

candora

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NOTE: Due to excessive comment SPAM, comments have been turned off... ironically, this month is the renewal for supergold membership and the comments feature... bad timing... you know how much I love feedback, so maybe there's be comments again one of these days... until then, please leave a note... thanks J