the delicate irony

yes... as with most of my words of desire (or any emotion), there may be a spark from a distant flame that ignites, a muse that touches me deeply to inspire, and many who are candles lighting my path, however the personal person is still a dream within a dream within me... I wish this was better understood by readers, but especially by creative writers who are, like it or not, muses and inspirations for each other... who is it that taught the caged bird to sing?...

this brought me to do some pondering...

the delicate irony is that when the words tingle with truth and express something deep inside, it is much easier to read if the words are not personalized, and perhaps challenging to read if they are dedicated to someone (especially if you are that someone and don't particularly want to have the words dedicated to you)... this is all the more true with words of love, romantic poetry, songs, or any intimate stories... like moths to flames we are drawn to the heat of emotions, yet if the writer gets too close, most will run from the power of the words...

it may be due to assumptions of expectations... for instance, if I say Sue inspires me to want to fall in love because of things she does, or writes, or says, or the way she looks, is it to be assumed that I want to fall in love (or further, that I am actually falling in love) with Sue?... too often I have found this to be the case, and yet, I wonder why... for while I can fall in love with an image or character in a movie, or a song and the singer, or written words and writer, this is still fantasy... the actor, singer, or writer is, in actual physical reality, a complete unknown, a total stranger... and yet, some do not seem to see the distinction between fantasy and reality when their hunger for love and passion consumes them...

such is the basis of stalking, perhaps... and with such events happening in the world, I suppose I can understand the fears that make us run from someone who appears to be feeling too much, wanting too much, or getting too close... but it is so sad for the artist who seeks to create intimate portraits and even sadder for those who understand that the highest art is interactive... artists who dare share the freedom of creative trust can feed off each other and do amazing things... Lennon and McCartney come to mind... and Van Gogh, who gave an ear, literally, in an attempt to show his love, to give an example of an artist who could not handle the extremes of emotional inspiration all the time... many, though not all solitary artists live sad, even miserable lives because they are not understood, their intensity and desire scares others away and they ache in loneliness... that is why an artist (and I include writers as artists), any creative soul seeking to set creativity free, should not be completly alone in this world...

again, the delicate irony is that many of the creative peaks are found only through the unique perception that individuality and isolation can bring, but the wise (and lucky) artist has a safety net and knows when to fall into it... ideally, the truly blessed artist has a safety net who is a compatible artist who can reflect and inspire and be inspired so that when one falls to catch a breath, the other soars to new peaks... ah, such symbiotic union is the stuff of dreams...

but who is to say any dreams are impossible?...

in time, the artist who survives alone learns to take what is offered, to live that delicate irony that is free self-expression - attractive, even irresistible while simultaneously being repulsive when personalized too much... how many people fantasizing about their favorite actor or singer would really want that person to show up in their lives and bring the intensity of their emotions and creative world, especially if there are already actual relationships in your physical world that would have to end or change for the fantasy idol to move in?... as drawn as we may be to the flame, we do not really want to burn...

maybe... I suppose those who feel so alone and have reached the understanding that freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose might welcome any change... even of the obsessed intensity of a Van Gogh, perhaps...

I started this entry rather personally (a long long time ago (and I can still rmember how the music used to make me smile), it seems) and philosophized a lot along the way, but what I think I was coming here to say is I appreciate everything that inspires me and mean no harm when I let it in and respond from within me... and when I dream my dreams of love or romance, I may have someone's words in mind, or a character from a film, or anything really, but I tend to forget the delicate irony as I am writing and the words may seem too obsessive or intense, but in the end I know they are all fantasies and figments of my imagination, all part of my written gardens...

the physical reality is a whole other world waiting to be shared and that sharing does not begin until the first eye contact and touch...

but to read the words, especially the rhymes, as personalized or to believe one knows me without looking into my eyes or at the very least speaking on the phone a few times, that is as much fantasy as the rhymes I write... and ultimately, the delicate irony is that some are afraid of fantasy and some are not... more often than not, I write for those who are not (unless they really enjoy being afraid and want to play) and hope to find muses who can play with the words without confusing the fantasies with the realities of daily life...

the precarious balance between fantasy and reality creates the delicate irony of sharing creativity... and sadly, sometimes I scare a muse away... but hopefully that won't happen too often... especially if I find a way to somehow make this entry a lot shorter and more to the point one day, aye?...

or maybe when I wake up...I am, after all, sleepwriting...

candora

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NOTE: Due to excessive comment SPAM, comments have been turned off... ironically, this month is the renewal for supergold membership and the comments feature... bad timing... you know how much I love feedback, so maybe there's be comments again one of these days... until then, please leave a note... thanks J