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be random what is now when is then where is email who i am how it is why it is leave a note? share me, share you make me smile thank you other journals (of course I should be sleeping) (what's life got to do with it?) about me (too much to know at once) friend? (tic tic tic, toc) BE MY GUEST (BOOK) << MISSING �SOMETHING? >> the bottom line who can when i had the time the first of december (has another song) what i do < ? me # > < ? harrychapin # > < ? Random Acts of Journaling # > < ? Poetic Voices # > < ? The Write Club # > < ? Nights Awake # > < ? Fluid # > < ? Adopted # > < ? Childlike # > < ? Poets-Muse # > < ? Five Hundred # > < ? As You Wish # > temporary place holder ()))CRAYON-BOX)))> published blogmad! varb? �2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS FOR ANY REASON TALK TO ME |
For Neb I'll just sit here and ramble on a bit as I did in the last five entries I just wrote as I stretched my mind to open boxes of ideas that lead to paths all over my written gardens... I suppose I should have included links in the entries and perhaps I shall later, but for now I unwind and give myself a few minutes to just sit here and talk to you without thinking of anything in particular, without searching for anything meaningful to say, just to say hi and let you know I am not all pompous prose or poetry, I am much more a babbler by nature... still, every now and then something (or someone) comes along to inspire me to explore styles and substance I might not wander into without a guide... that natural rebel tends to steer clear of what others call classic or the way it should be might leave me out of some loops and diminish my experience of some essential human understandings... but my resistance to conformity is an integral aspect of my creativity and who am I to interfere with integral aspects, after all...
ah, I should know my precious Nebby has left something to blow me away... here, if you must see me naked once again... if she was not, ah, but she is, so... I remain blessed to have found a mind such as this, that caresses my secrets with a gentle kiss, reminging me of what I forget is real, and daring me to ... when I am afraid to feel... or, to put it another way (as I did in a note to her)... I am telling myself I am not doing it, and then I read her words and realize I am, and yet I do not want to... zenith cries at unavoidable truth, I laugh with instinctive defense, there must be a compromise... I'll let you know when I find it... until then, during these wandering days, I thank her for the smiles she inspires, for I recognize myself too well so often in her words that she has become a map I can count on when I wish to return from wherever is is I may wander... bless my beautiful muse. something for her and him, for what it's worth (as it didn't seem to get through to the guestbook... the perils of ancient laptops, perhaps... or even changing codes)... zenith cries in wonder at the honesty you share zenith cries amazed at the silence of your tear zenith cries, and trembles at the passion of your fear and of your love, zenith cries, you're not here. oh what a wonder she could be if she would but turn and look at me for just what she can do with words sets my heart flying high as birds... "more than friends but not lovers is a hard balance to find" if my wishes come true she will be forever blessed with true love, peace, security, fun, and happiness and the freedom to fly beyond all fear secure within her own confidence to give herself completely trust unconditionally and love honestly, true and intense if it was a gift that was mine to give I would give her a life lived the way she wants to live for she inspires me to remember mine and motivates me to reach for my bottom line as if she was my own, flesh and blood, family as if she was my child, I adore her openly may she understand how wonderful she can be and may she find her way to actualize her dreams completely honestly openly harmlessly passionately gently tenderly... and all I wish for everyone and anyone I love I wish for her right now for all to see for this is how I can best thank her today for being such a precious muse for me for Neb (muse extrordinaire)
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I love you all for coming... for reading all these words for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd) if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight I'd say I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life |