be random
what is now
when is then
where is email
who i am
how it is
why it is
leave a note?
share me, share you
make me smile
thank you

other journals
(of course I should be sleeping)
(what's life got to do with it?)

about me
(too much to know at once)
friend?
(tic tic tic, toc)

BE MY GUEST (BOOK)

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when i had the time
the first of december (has another song)
what i do





RINGS 'n THINGS

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�2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS
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MONOLOG

wish you were here (in the big green chair)

and so I came home from work and I sat down here in the big green chair and, as Sam was already awake and glued to the TV and remote control, I slipped on the headphones and proceeded to respond to an email pondering to the writing process, reached for a CD that so much has represented the creative process (not just the writing process) in this life for me, my overdue library copy of Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" (though I vaguely remember bits of the last half hour of "Maid In Manhattan" pulled my eyes and ears away from here from time to time), and let the words flow... along the way I fell asleep, laptop precariously perched on the tabletop on the pillow on my lap, and it is now about four hours later, my lap is rather damp, and the CD repeated at least a half dozen times... I am now going to start the music over and return to the journal writing I was doing this week, hopefully geared up to focus and produce many web gems that will be applauded as literary masterpieces... or perhaps not... oh ego sit down...

remember when we were young...


but there can be so much sadness without the playfulness ego brings to the game of life... at least that is the way it is in my head... I unconditionally love ego as a completely selfish child who can not be trusted to drive the car, but can be trusted to make the ride a whole lot more interesting and fun... maybe it is because I never did let my ego grow up (was I supposed to?) and learn all the adult stuff egos are supposed to do... mine is still happily begging for attention as any precocious four year old might... my mind believes it is still four years old...

now there's a look in your eyes


and my soul feels as ageless as time itself... and just as old, sometimes... but there is no time in the big black up in the sky, there is only space and an infinite amount of that at that (at least space so vast that it is infinite by our proportions... when there is no measure, there is no limit... and it is all in the mind...

release the darkness to the darkness
see the falling stars
out there burns a supernova
don't know where you are

brighter than a thousand suns
yet we can not see
but if you really want to
you can
feel the energy
feel the energy

close your eyes and let the light in
see your own desire
out there burns infinite candles
but we don't feel the fire

hotter than a billion suns
touch eternity
in your heart, if you want to
you can
feel the energy
feel the energy


deeper than the darkness there is hope, for hope is part of the strong force... and that is why you must dig through anything that is in the way... fear, doubt, despair, depression, do not let it stop you... feel the pain, let it rain, go insane, do it again, but dig, delve deeper, down into the darkness of the unknown where you buried yourself, where you exchanged a walk on part in the war for a lead roll in a cage... you can dig your way out, just keep digging...

you reached for the secret too soon


and they burned you... the powers, the adults, the frightened children in grown up costumes who live by the rule that might makes right and don't talk about the fears or else... else could be anything from ostricization to a nuclear bomb... these are the days left for humanity, an egocentric species caught up in vanity, to easily lead into insanity, for fear dominates this sad Planet E...

but don't let it get you down, it's only castles burning, after all... the planet is still turning, so there must be some hope it will survive... and they can only do to you what you let them do to you and no matter what you let them do you can rise above, forgive yourself, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again... all you lost is time...

give in to your love
let someone share it
give in to your song
let someone hear it
give in to your heart
let someone feel it
give into the cards
let someone deal it

and if you are cheated or lied to
if you are betrayed or abused
remember what you tried to do
and it's only time you used

and no matter how much it hurts
do not deny the yen
give in to your desire
listen to the zen
even if you have to cry
or count to ten to ten
as long as you have one more breath
there's time to try again

time to try again


and just when you think you've got permanent Little Orphan Annie eyes, Bette Davis slaps you upside your head and if you're not laughing, you've at least got better reason to feel sorry for yourself... but that isn't me (I won't let it be)...

well you wore out your welcome with random precision


the story of a life does not have to end there... there is no law, not even a natural one, that says biological family must share the same consciousness or energy level... you may have mutated to a new plane of awareness and if that makes you the black sheep because they are afraid to let go or afraid to understand or just too jealous to support your rise, then move on or let them take you down... it is your choice...

if you can hear the music
and it can make you feel
the story of your life
then you can make it real
just find your own expression
and do what must be done
to make your own progression
and show us all your fun

relax, enjoy, you are yourself
and here is where you are
whatever might have come before
we need not bring this far

see the falling star


and in this universe, you create your own family based on energy connections, conscious awareness, and actual sharing... leave the pretenses and the suppose-to-be behind... you do not need a welcome where you belong...

welcome to the machine


churn, burn, earn, learn... sometimes you must learn before you earn, but then you can learn more... and that is what it is all about... and if you see life as a box of chocolates ask, why that one... random chance?... predestined romance?... holy trance?... choice of the dance?...

precious cargo
one whole life
not enough time
for hate or strife
put fear aside
put down the knife
precious body
one whole life

and if you need no answers
then you can handle fear
and if you need no promises
oh how I wish you were here

and if you take your chances
then you can be aware
and if you can take the love I give
oh how I wish you were here

find yourself
one whole life
not enough room
for hate or strife
leave doubt behind
pack up the knife
find your love
one whole life

and if you can trust yourself
then you can handle love
and if you need no fantasy
from below or above

and if you care for your shelf
then you can understand
the power that I offer
is right there in your hand

give yourself
a whole life
not enough room
for hate or strife
open your mind
re-think the knife
carve yourself
a whole life

and you can be the life of your own party
if you'll only remember the way
it is right there where you left it
just hear the music play
remember yesterday
is now today

remember dreams you shared about tomorrow
and if you'll only remember the way
it is what you have always known
just hear the music play
tomorrow's yesterday
is now today

live yourself
a whole life


and in a moment (many lines later), you might find that you are smiling... or perhaps, like me, you fell asleep for a while... a brief nap in the big green chair can do wonders for me... besides, some stuff goes in better subliminally...

nobody knows where you are... how near or how far


how can anyone not be moved by Pink Floyd?... well, anyone who understands the power of the guitar, at least... and music, period... and love, oh that crazy little thing... shine on you crazy diamonds... all of you...

candora

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NOTE: Due to excessive comment SPAM, comments have been turned off... ironically, this month is the renewal for supergold membership and the comments feature... bad timing... you know how much I love feedback, so maybe there's be comments again one of these days... until then, please leave a note... thanks J




I love you all for coming... for reading all these words
for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd)
if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight
I'd say
I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life


ALL WORDS (C) 2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS