be random
what is now
when is then
where is email
who i am
how it is
why it is
leave a note?
share me, share you
make me smile
thank you

other journals
(of course I should be sleeping)
(what's life got to do with it?)

about me
(too much to know at once)
friend?
(tic tic tic, toc)

BE MY GUEST (BOOK)

<< MISSING �SOMETHING? >>
the bottom line
who can
when i had the time
the first of december (has another song)
what i do





RINGS 'n THINGS

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MONOLOG

if I play with myself

what would you do if I played with myself
would you stand up and play with yourself too?


ok, so I have been away from planet candora for a while (wait, didn't I just say that?... so what are we waiting for?)... and as usual, the writing did not stop so a small flood of entries are about to appear all at once (eventually... I attempted to upload them a few times in the past week and something always seemed to come up to distract me from the progress... today was no exception, so we try again now... yes, ok, so get on with it already)...

sometimes I stay away but write every day and occasionally I actually stay away and ignore candora for a little while... this time I actually did stay away a bit so the next ten entries (approximately) are from the first few weeks of last month (if I say any more, the timeless wonder of this imaginary world will dissolve in a plethora of reality... or at least a really bad brain fart)... this information is for the sake of the few of you who actually stop in and check on me here (and I wish I could give you all a humongous group hug, or an individual hug if you're shy or would like some individual attention, or just a handshake if you are not the touchy feely type of person, or at least smile at your eyes if you are somewhat touch-phobic, or something to say thank you and let you know how much I appreciate you stopping in here even when I am away)... it's a bit of peeling back the curtain and letting you in on a real world moment or few, ya know (but then, you know where to find those, right, uh-huh?)... I'll try to remember to subtly slip a sign into the first entry here after the pile written a few weeks ago get uploaded so you know when the current entries begin again... shhhh, don't tell anyone... it'll be our little secret... nobody else will know...

meanwhile, what is lacking most besides the significant love interest, soulmate, or the one is the memory, cuz I just forgot what I was about to write that was lacking most besides the significant love interest, soulmate, or the one... playful fantasy?... partner in crime?... sex doll?... maybe what's missing is the positive attitude that focuses on what is here instead of what is missing... what is instead of what is not... there's a profound quote in that thought so let me know if you find it... what is all this pondering doing here in this diary, anyway... maybe we need a big can of angst-be-gone...

if I play with myself will you
mind?
I'm just looking for someone who has the time
who knows how to share
and how to be kind
maybe play with me too
would you mind?

if I play with myself will you
look?
I'm just looking for a part in your book
have room in your cast
maybe we can cook
if you play with yourself
can I look?

if I play with myself will you
too?
I'm just looking for someone so much like you
the game is a foot
have you found the clue?
did you know I was playing
with you?


ok, yes, so this is still the place for dreaming, in spite of whatever anywhere else might say or how much I might fool you into believing I am actually seriously emotionally involved with fantasizing about your nubile young bodies or innocently helplessly falling in love with the imaginary person i believe you are or becoming your next obsessed stalker, it is all real, I mean a dream, it is all a dream, yeah, that's right... and also, just cuz I'm gone or down or lonely or losing my mind elsewhere and appear to be or actually am missing in action here, it's just a seventy-two hour commitment, after all, two weeks at the most... the cell is padded and of course I don't let them cure me, so you needn't worry... unless, of course, you really want to play, then worry all you like (cuz play worry doesn't stick)... yeah, ok, so now it is on with the show and away we go and all that jazz... a heam, I mean, ahem, we now return you to the ten entries previously in progress...

candora

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NOTE: Due to excessive comment SPAM, comments have been turned off... ironically, this month is the renewal for supergold membership and the comments feature... bad timing... you know how much I love feedback, so maybe there's be comments again one of these days... until then, please leave a note... thanks J




I love you all for coming... for reading all these words
for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd)
if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight
I'd say
I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life


ALL WORDS (C) 2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS