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MONOLOG

spaghetti weather

hey peeps, how ya doin?... I'm just sitting here waiting for a little rain to fall, or a little sun to shine, or a little something to happen cuz any sort of weather would be a surprise cuz I'm sitting indoors at the moment... but I've got a window I can look out at, I mean through, I think... anyway, when I look at the window I see through it and through it I see what I am looking at... besides the glass, I mean... then again, I don't actually mean besides the glass, I mean through the glass if you know where that's at... looking?... besides, because there's not much besides the glass but a sill and a frame and a venetian blind... why do they call the thing a venetian blind, anyway?... I mean, why not a venusian blind?... most people, I'd wager, would have a better chance of being blind to Venus than the Venice when they close the dang things... ever get the string all tangled up?...

anybody want a piece of baklava?... I know, it be kinda hard to get through the wire, but you see it was just a dollar and there's a whole lot of it and it's thick and rich and sticky and gooey and lumps up in the gut like one of them expanding sponges... ever see one of those?... lots of companies put their brand name on them and give them out to people... I guess those companies figure people do a lot of washing with sponges and those all those sponge-washing people are gonna think of them when they wash whatever it is they wash with those sponges and maybe then they'll remember the company next time they're in some store (some time after washing, I'd imagine) and buy something else with the company name printed on it hoping it'll blow up like the sponge when it gets wet...

but anyway, the baklava is good, there's just way too much of it for me to eat in a week of making baklava sandwiches... I mean, even if I used one of those long hero breads cut sideways... why do they call them hero breads, anyway... I mean, did that long skinny bread ever save anybody?...

hey wait a minute, I think some weather might have just happened... no, it was a false alarm.. just a little condensation from the ceiling... probably from the big spaghetti pots boiling with boiling water in them that's boiling and evaporating and rising to the ceiling and then become little water droplets that pretend to be rain drop when they fall on my head... just like the guy who's feet are too big for his bed... think you used enough dynamite there butch?...

anyway, we did this experiment once in science class with all the windows shut tight and rubber strips under the doors so no air could get in or out where we got about a hundred or so bunson burners fired up under about a hundred or so pyrex beakers filled with boiling water that was boiling and evaporating and rising up to the ceiling where we had real cold refrigeration pipes running across the ceiling making the steam rising from the beakers all steamy and misty and cloud-like and we started seeing strange things in the clouds but or teacher who we all thought was really very responsible told us that wasn't part of the experiment and we could watch the videotape later if we wanted to see strange things in the clouds but now we were supposed to measure the humidity and pressure in the room with some homemade barometers that some of the kids were making for their science projects and record the changes and one kid passed out cuz the oxygen was being used up by the bunsen burners and nobody was measuring that...

we discovered that the teacher was not as responsible as we thought and a few kids thought they got the bends, but I think they were just exaggerating cuz you know how kids like drama...

the baklava has almonds in it... and I guess it's time to get the spaghetti out of the pots and get to eating some so I thank you good and plenty for keeping me company here while I was cooking up some spaghetti in that boiling water...

hope you've got some weather where you are...

candora

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I love you all for coming... for reading all these words
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if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight
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I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life


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