be random what is now when is then where is email who i am how it is why it is leave a note? share me, share you make me smile thank you other journals (of course I should be sleeping) (what's life got to do with it?) about me (too much to know at once) friend? (tic tic tic, toc) BE MY GUEST (BOOK) << MISSING �SOMETHING? >> the bottom line who can when i had the time the first of december (has another song) what i do < ? me # > < ? harrychapin # > < ? Random Acts of Journaling # > < ? Poetic Voices # > < ? The Write Club # > < ? Nights Awake # > < ? Fluid # > < ? Adopted # > < ? Childlike # > < ? Poets-Muse # > < ? Five Hundred # > < ? As You Wish # > temporary place holder ()))CRAYON-BOX)))> published blogmad! varb? �2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS FOR ANY REASON TALK TO ME |
another touch of the real... it appears that they are having technical difficulties over at the tagboard service and I am one of the unlucky customers who happen to be lost in the server error (or what they report is a misplaced hard drive)... but there is a surprisingly wonderful benefit to having the tagboard down and that is, after paying the big bucks for the DLand Supergold services for years, I actually received comments (I feel like there oughta be an exclamation point after this line)... thank you is just not enough... for the feeling that comes from knowing that the words from my heart touched someone else, that someone actually understands something close to what is going on inside of me, it is magical, that feeling is what makes everything in this life worthwhile... I've been through a lot in this life... amazing pleasurable experiences filled with love and passion and comfort and luxury... and horrible nightmares lost deep in the eyes of someone living on the street for years... all in all, I've got a lot to smile about (even if I am not always sure just what I did with it all sometimes)... here, in this diary, my heart sings and bleeds, dances and sighs, hopes and dreams and cries (though much of the crying is directed to the land of the mostly dead)... what inspired this entry is the fact that I received a couple of comments (thank you... the best thing about it is that the comments were about mostly confessional introspective rhymes and rambling, closer to personal, another touch of the real... sometimes my response to a comment reflects as much, if not more about me than any entry I might write on my own... thatis the beauty and wonder of this sort of public writing... this is what happened after this entry (and the preceeding five or six entries and those linked to them, cuz all in all this all flows together): "I don't know what to say, I am speechless...... tears fall from my eyes, my heart hurts and yet it holds joy for you.... letting go, that's all. You never failed babe because you loved, you only fail if you don't love. letting go that's all this is for me....... letting go to pick myself up, dust myself off, and love once again........... " and then I felt: yay! (I think? :)
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I love you all for coming... for reading all these words for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd) if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight I'd say I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life |