be random what is now when is then where is email who i am how it is why it is leave a note? share me, share you make me smile thank you other journals (of course I should be sleeping) (what's life got to do with it?) about me (too much to know at once) friend? (tic tic tic, toc) BE MY GUEST (BOOK) << MISSING �SOMETHING? >> the bottom line who can when i had the time the first of december (has another song) what i do < ? me # > < ? harrychapin # > < ? Random Acts of Journaling # > < ? Poetic Voices # > < ? The Write Club # > < ? Nights Awake # > < ? Fluid # > < ? Adopted # > < ? Childlike # > < ? Poets-Muse # > < ? Five Hundred # > < ? As You Wish # > temporary place holder ()))CRAYON-BOX)))> published blogmad! varb? �2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS FOR ANY REASON TALK TO ME |
an unfinished rhyme I just want to roll up and die caught in the trap of desperation I know I'm not the only one who knows this feeling too well but when I am this lonely I stop caring about everything selfishness even consumes my heart I wonder if that's why I am so lonely, is this loneliness hell? I am a good person at least I want to be I give all I have to give to friends and charity and more often than not I find there's nothing left for me and when there's nothing left nobody stays... and I'm even more lonely I don't understand what I am doing wrong I don't know what to change or what to do I'd ask someone, but no one's here has this ever happened to you? sometimes I feel like standing on a bridge in the pouring rain staring at the waters down below do we all have our dark bridges that we may never cross? in the darkness of the night wondering what really matters and would it really make a difference if I was never born would it really be any loss? I do my best to share but that's not done alone and my long term relationships are the best feelings I've known and I still love forever every one I've ever loved why can't I find the one for me who dreams all I dream of what's the answer I can't see? no matter what I do nobody stays... and I'm even more lonely I don't want to die not really I want to stop wanting to share I want to not care I want to accept I am alone can I be alone without despair? I wish I knew an answer the way to be satisfied without love to not want to feel tender arms hold me someone who knows the secrets of my soul can that be real? sometimes I feel... so lonely I want to just lay down and die out on the bridge between destinations I can enjoy the journey and yet I live to share the love and when I am this lonely I stop making sense to myself selfishness even consumes my mind I wonder who and what I am so lonely, in this loneliness hell will hopelessness win? what's the point of going on another day so far away but still someone responds and your words keep me from jumping you keep my hope alive another day another moment somehow I survive breathing one more time but still so lonely... like an unfinished rhyme previous - - - - - - - - next - - - - - - - - comment? - - - - - - - -
I love you all for coming... for reading all these words for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd) if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight I'd say I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life |