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be random what is now when is then where is email who i am how it is why it is leave a note? share me, share you make me smile thank you other journals (of course I should be sleeping) (what's life got to do with it?) about me (too much to know at once) friend? (tic tic tic, toc) BE MY GUEST (BOOK) << MISSING �SOMETHING? >> the bottom line who can when i had the time the first of december (has another song) what i do < ? me # > < ? harrychapin # > < ? Random Acts of Journaling # > < ? Poetic Voices # > < ? The Write Club # > < ? Nights Awake # > < ? Fluid # > < ? Adopted # > < ? Childlike # > < ? Poets-Muse # > < ? Five Hundred # > < ? As You Wish # > temporary place holder ()))CRAYON-BOX)))> published blogmad! varb? �2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS FOR ANY REASON TALK TO ME |
on your other hand... can anybody hear this is silent screaming is anyone there? some nights I sit here tapping away at the keys for no apparent reason and if there's some meaningful answer in my words I consider myself lucky... I will check my email and notes and hope for some sign of life, some sign that somebody out there is reading me, feeling me, knowing me, wanting me, loving me... not just in general or sometime, but right at this moment when I am feel a bottomless pit of loneliness reaching up to suck me in... I reach for music randomly and welcome abstract distraction, but secretly long for cathartic tears, for the pathetic cry of years of failed trust, broken dreams, and lonely nights... and one of the cats come to snuggle up, demanding I stop typing or at least type with one hand because the other hand must be gently stroking, caressing, giving the petting love that cats crave from time to time... and while it feels good to be wanted like this, it is still generic and not enough... I find myself wishing somebody would stop what they were doing and cuddle up with me, pet me, hold me, let me curl up in your arms... feeling... purring... you can keep typing with one hand, if you like, as I fall asleep on your other hand...
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I love you all for coming... for reading all these words for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd) if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight I'd say I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life |