sleepwriting

be random
what is now
when is then
where is email
who i a m
how it is
why it is
leave a note?
share me, share you
make me smile
thank you

other journals
(of course I should be sleeping)
(what's life got to do with it?)
about me
(too much to know at once)
friend?
(tic tic tic, toc)

BE MY GUEST (BOOK)

<< MISSING �SOMETHING? >>
the bottom line
who can
when i had the time
the first of december (has another song)
what i do

RINGS 'n THINGS

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temporary place holder
()))CRAYON-BOX)))>
published

blogmad!
varb?

�2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS
IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS
FOR ANY REASON
TALK TO ME

MONOLOG

and when I'm down

and when I'm gone (are we just spinning wheels?... missing references?... connections?... collaborations?... watching our time and life just pass by?... and there'll be one more child in this world to carry on)... I just keep writing and writing some more and nothing really changes except time passes and loneliness grows, so I guess something changes... but nothing too... maybe that's why I wander away and stop uploading for a while... because sooner or later, no matter how much i want to believe in the dream that the words play with, something or someone comes along and reminds me that it is all just a literary dream... and I start to feeling like a jaded used-up old fool who has no business feeling the innocence and purity and wonder... that's when the mostly dead words become more real and the candora words become foolish fantasy... but in the end, the true truth is that what is real is just what we dare to believe is real and what is fantasy is what we do not dare believe in enough to make real... it's easy to believe in depression and inadequacy and failure and weakness and being wasted cuz it doesn't take much effort to do that... it's easy to lose... no risk... it's easy to give up and fall into an apathetic self-pity... it's easy to waste away, nothing much to do but sit around and wait to die...

dreaming takes hope, which is a risk... faith in the possible, the risk that the dream won't come true, that hopes will be crushed by the cold harshness of rejection... it takes believing in something, it means having something to lose... rolling the dice, taking the chance is easy when there's nothing to lose... freedom's just another word... love, the same... time tells the story... absolute power corrupts... life gets too easy, there's nothing to reach for anymore, and the empire decays... the bloated apathy of having it all and not caring anymore... right...

maybe I can still believe... through true love's kiss the spell shall break... tomorrow... after all, it's just a choice... to believe or not to believe... to hope or not to hope... to dream or not to dream... to be or, well, you know...

all we need is love la la la la la

candora

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NOTE: Due to excessive comment SPAM, comments have been turned off... ironically, this month is the renewal for supergold membership and the comments feature... bad timing... you know how much I love feedback, so maybe there's be comments again one of these days... until then, please leave a note... thanks J

I love you all for coming... for reading all these words
for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd)
if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight
I'd say
I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life