what is now
when is then
where is email
who i am
how it is
why it is
leave a note?
share me, share you
make me smile
(of course I should be sleeping)
(what's life got to do with it?)
(too much to know at once)
(tic tic tic, toc)
BE MY GUEST (BOOK)
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when i had the time
the first of december (has another song)
what i do
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temporary place holder
�2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS
IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS
FOR ANY REASON
TALK TO ME
I am such a fool sometimes... I make contact with people impulsively when I find an entry or few that inspire me and I have a few moments to leave a note or send an email and then the work week starts and I don't find time... but then there's even more foolishness about when I get a phone number to call and I have no idea when to call... so I send my phone number and the other person may be in the same boat... or maybe we're just caught up in our own madness?...
so for anybody who cares, now or later, this is my schedule... I head out to work approximately 10PM every evening except Friday and Saturday... I get home from work after 8AM, sometimes later (overtime happens)... while at work, the cell phone seldom works (it's a hospital and there are lots of dampers an dead zones, but feel free to try if you are awake in the middle of the night... I sleep whenever... if I am too deep in sleep, the phone will not wake me and you will hopefully leave a message that includes a good time to call you back... and if I am not too deep into sleep, I will pick up (waking me when is not a problem for me, but the possibility that I might be groggy or in some weird head-space might be for you... of course if being in some weird head-space is a problem for you, you probably would never call me... you have read some of my rambles, right?)...
I love conversations, I love friendly strangers because every friend I've ever had started out as a friendly stranger... especially the true friends and adopted family... so friendly strangers and not just welcome, you are encouraged to call...
now you might need my phone number to actually call... well, I am in the book, but you shouldn't have to go searching for my number, so I'll give it to you here... but just to make this more amusing (and to weed out the normal people), do the math... start with your age, add 17... multiply by 4... add your IQ... subtract your shoe size... divide by the number of ears you have... multiply by zero... add 623... multiply by 2... subtract 839... you should have the area code... or you could just look up the area code for Orlando, Florida, USA...
now you are ready to calculate rest of the number... just answer the following questions...
1. how many Presidents of the United States actually live at the White House at this time? (this is not a trick question, leave politics and chads or other election issues out of it)... now add one.
2. divide the number of feet a normal dog has by two, add the number of legs a normal chicken has, divide by two again, add the number of days in the week that have the word day in their name, subtract five.
3. how many fingers am I holding up?
4. when playing golf, what number is supposed to be yelled just before hitting your ball (but for some reason professionals never do this on TV... are they exempt?)... anyway, what number comes before the number you are supposed to yell?
5. fill in the blank: Friday ________ (or if that is not in your repetoire, put your left hand behind your head, hold your left ear with your right hand, turn your head to the right, hop on one leg five times (it doesn't matter which leg), take three deep breaths, life your right leg, put your right leg down, lift your left leg, cough twice, put your left leg down, let go of your left ear, put your right arm at your side, now clap once... how many times did you hop?)
6. ok, not counting the thumb, how many fingers does Mickey Mouse have on one hand?
7. this is a phonetic clue (sounds like): after you eat a meal, what did you just do?
8. remember the dog in question three?... well, if the dog licked you twice, how many times did the dog lick you?
9. how many of you are there?
ok, now throw out your answers for questions three and six and then arrange your remaining answers in this order: 4859271
remember to use the area code when you call.
if it doesn't work, please let me know because I took a lot of time to create this quiz... you can also find my number here... I hope to hear from you soon, especially if you are laughing... if you are not laughing or actually in any way upset with me, feel free to call while I am at work... for further important information about your telephone number and you check with funda...
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I love you all for coming... for reading all these words
for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd)
if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight
I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life