be random what is now when is then where is email who i am how it is why it is leave a note? share me, share you make me smile thank you other journals (of course I should be sleeping) (what's life got to do with it?) about me (too much to know at once) friend? (tic tic tic, toc) BE MY GUEST (BOOK) << MISSING �SOMETHING? >> the bottom line who can when i had the time the first of december (has another song) what i do < ? me # > < ? harrychapin # > < ? Random Acts of Journaling # > < ? Poetic Voices # > < ? The Write Club # > < ? Nights Awake # > < ? Fluid # > < ? Adopted # > < ? Childlike # > < ? Poets-Muse # > < ? Five Hundred # > < ? As You Wish # > temporary place holder ()))CRAYON-BOX)))> published blogmad! varb? �2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS FOR ANY REASON TALK TO ME |
coming of age in candora "What about candora?" I was asked that question recently. I was not sure how to answer, not so much because I wanted to give the person the answer she was looking for, but because I am not sure about candora myself for reasons that may have nothing to do with the thoughts behind the question. So I asked, "What do you mean?" which was instantly recognized (by me at least) for the avoidance technique it was, even though I did want to know and the question was valid, there were deeper issues to ruminate. She appeared unperturbed and responded. "Why is candora still alone?" I did my best to ignore the shivers ice skating down my spine, though I think my tailbone might have wiggled a bit. Thank goodness for baggy T-shirts. I pondered the universe for a moment, reaching into the well of Douglas Adams for my personal annotated and dog-eared copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide for some clues as to how to begin answering the question, confident that time would run out on the universe long before I left the landing pad. "I don't know" In my infinite wisdom, I chose to play coy. She smiled. "Maybe you really want to be, in spite of your frequent protestations to the contrary" Personally, I had always seen them more as lamentations, but I did not argue to point. I do not think I went into instant denial, either. At least not on the surface. "We are all alone, always." I waxed philosophical. The Guide recommends that when faced with a question that has too many right answers and not enough wrong ones, somewhere between it's dog-ears. Of course those could be my notes. She laughed. "Are we alone right now?" She squeezed me in such a way that could only be written about in graphic romance novels, pornographic material, or medical textbooks. As I was learning about muscles I never knew existed in the female body, I felt what can only be described in an infinite number of ways as orgasmic pleasure and answered. "Nhaaghffffuuusschhh." She appeared to understand for she squeezed a bit more, and to the left, while letting loose with a series of shivers and shakes and giggles and groans that must have had people in neighboring states checking their plumbing. I somehow made a mental note to check mine, later. "Thank you" I am not sure who said that, but I was somehow sure both of us felt it. This feeling was as close to not being alone as I'd ever known and I was wondering if I should explain, but was suddenly so sure I did not have to. I cried. "Why are you crying?" She asked, knowing the answer. "You know" Her smile melted me as I tasted her tear. I dropped the guide, my guard, and my towel. "I want you to say it." I looked into her eyes and fell for a very long time that felt like infinity. previous - - - - - - - - next - - - - - - - - comment? - - - - - - - -
I love you all for coming... for reading all these words for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd) if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight I'd say I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life |