sleepwriting

be random
what is now
when is then
where is email
who i a m
how it is
why it is
leave a note?
share me, share you
make me smile
thank you

other journals
(of course I should be sleeping)
(what's life got to do with it?)
about me
(too much to know at once)
friend?
(tic tic tic, toc)

BE MY GUEST (BOOK)

<< MISSING �SOMETHING? >>
the bottom line
who can
when i had the time
the first of december (has another song)
what i do

RINGS 'n THINGS

< ? me # >
< ? harrychapin # >
< ? Random Acts of Journaling # >
< ? Poetic Voices # >
< ? The Write Club # >
< ? Nights Awake # >
< ? Fluid # >
< ? Adopted # >
< ? Childlike # >
< ? Poets-Muse # >
< ? Five Hundred # >
< ? As You Wish # >
temporary place holder
()))CRAYON-BOX)))>
published

blogmad!
varb?

�2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS
IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS
FOR ANY REASON
TALK TO ME

MONOLOG

sometimes it seems like I've been gone

and in what might be considered real time, this is probably true, and if we could agree on what real time is, I might even agree... but time is irrelevent on planet c and though I do beam these words down to Earth so you can read them, it is still too much work to keep track of time the way most humans do... really, it becomes an obsession for some of you folk... I mean, half your lives are spent trying to find something to do with the time you've rushed through life trying to save... or something like that...

anyway, I sometimes have nothing to say for a few day Earth time, but I'm still rambling on all the time in my mind and often in other places on and offline... and you few who notice my absense are tremendously appreciated and I would love to show that appreciation in any specific way that is comfortable for you (though requests for oral sex {have you seen those popping up on some diaries?... quite amazing... I'll have to let layla know} will not be taken seriously unless we sit and talk for a while face to face... you see, there's a serious undertone buried somewhere within most of my irreverence... and thank you most seriously anyway, wink, nod, giggle)...

I have inadvertently maintained a relatively PG, if not G rating here in candoraland (I think I mentioned masturbation once... make that twice), but I do occasionally remember that there is a body attached to these fingers, a rather sensual body, and it's just as sensitive and insatiable as the babbling ethereal being who usually writes here... perhaps I should start a new and more visceral diary to release the physical passions, lusts, and general horniness... we shall see (now if I suddenly get a ton of requests for the URL, I'll know let you know where I put my obscene titilations and ridiculously obsessive perversions)...

anyway, I didn't start this entry to let you know that I am not always masturbating when it seems like I am gone, I actually am not sure why I started this entry... let's see... I did (and do) want to thank you for your "where are you? queries (so thank you, oh treasured ones)... and I did want to reassure any worriers that I am fine... maybe a little more lethargic looping in procrastinatory blahs than I'd like, but sometimes to make an omelete you've got to breaks some eggs... unless you have some of that egg-beater stuff or eggs that come in a bottle, but the analogy (or was that a metaphor... smetimes they are so simile to me I forget the difference... yes, that was a pun, not a typo.. and did you ever wonder why a play on words is called a pun and now a pow?... I mean, not just for the anagrammatical correctness, but a good pun does kind of suddenly explode in your head... then again, maybe pun is short for punishment, as a series of good puns can get to feel like literary punishment after a while... ah, enough of the joys of etomology, I might forget why started this entry or at least where I left off before this parentheses) might be stretching beyond the frying pan now... what I think I was trying to say is

when I'm deep inside of me
don't be too concerned
I won't ask for nothing while I'm gone"
(though it's still wonderful to find stuff when I get back [insert cheesy grin])... and thank you Billy for the words that sum up what I was trying t say so much more succinctly than my words do... a see, I am sometimes off licking wounds that will remain open until another tongue licks them (and before you go getting your tongues out, please understand that it must be the right tongue and also, since this entry had sexual overtones earlier, it's important to mention that this tonguing reference was not meant to be sexual but rather nurturing like a mother at cleaning her kittens... my mother always told me that analogies or metaphors or whatever we call them can be quite dangerous in the wrong hands... or mouths... actually, my mother never said that... at least not to me... I don't even know if she ever read a book, no less wrote or knew literary terms... and there I go digressing again... must be something I ate)...

but sometimes I am just busy with life offline and not making time to upload because I'm just barely squeaking out time to jot a few thoughts down each day... that is one reason time is irrelevent... I might sit down with a weeks worth (or two or more) of thoughts and notes and suddenly a dozen or more entries come pouring out in one sitting... we've been through that before, right?... I know I explained it somewhere... so I really do appreciate you patience and concern and love it when you inquire (but don't worry), but I'm a stubborn babbler and sometimes I just withdraw to my own planet and nothing can drag me back until I am ready to return (I remember a time when I accepted an Article 15 for AWOL from Uncle Sam because I was too busy doing something to head over to the infirmary and get a fake excuse for missing a shirt in the ER... yes, I was briefly in the US Army once... might be a segment or few for Ripley's Believe It Or Not in that story, but anyway a half dozen friends tried to break down the door to my room even after I told them I'm not coming out and all the noise of chairs smashing against the door - I mean, I had to turn up the music they were getting so loud - didn't pursuade me to stop what I was doing and follow the rules... but again I digress... maybe not as much as I usually digress, but still)...

I am not immune to feeling unappreciated (however foolish or wrong it may be, feelings are valid even if they are unfounded by the evidence) or unworthy of being out here publicly sharing words... life doesn't begin and end with a check of the stats or of how many people listed me as favorites, but heck, when creating illusions of grandeur, every little bit helps... and even more seriously, though there may not be nearly as much insecurity on planet c as there is on Earth, it does exist and it's infinitely insatiable when a storm of it sweeps across the landscape... so it's sometimes this and sometimes that and sometimes the other thing, but it's no major cause for a seven alarm call to the local suicide hotline when I disappear for a little while...

a call to my cell, on the other hand, would be a wonderful surprise (but far be it for me to leave subtle hints, or even winks, nods, or nudges idly laying around)...

candora

previous - - - - - - - - next - - - - - - - - comment? - - - - - - - -

NOTE: Due to excessive comment SPAM, comments have been turned off... ironically, this month is the renewal for supergold membership and the comments feature... bad timing... you know how much I love feedback, so maybe there's be comments again one of these days... until then, please leave a note... thanks J

I love you all for coming... for reading all these words
for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd)
if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight
I'd say
I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life