junk mail junkie

Penis Enlargers Breast EnhancHERs Anabolic Steroids and more!

(but why aren't they PenHIS Enlargers?)

ah, the joys of junk mail... come with me now as I delete some of the more frequent and odd mail that finds it's way in my boxes... it seems my mailboxes are, on a daily basis, dominated by sex (pity it doesn't spill over into the offline world)... I can find Sexual Herbal Suppliments (for those who prefer sex with Herbs, as opposed to just any Tom, Dick, or Harry, I suppose... and then there are at least a dozen different sex sites every day, from nakedfriendfinders to horney housewives (have sex with the unhappily married!... why would I want to have sex with someone who makes a life choice to stay unhappily married?)... and of course, the AnalVirgins want me... how did they know?

but then sex isn't the only thing I have many times a day in my mailbox... without a doubt, I could be the best seller on eBay with all the courses in how to sell things on eBay I receive... I am considering using the knowledge gained from the courses on how to sell effectively on eBay to sell courses on how to sell effectively on eBay on eBay...

 Hello. We have wonderful news for you.

If you suffer from any form of skin discolorations, such as dark marks, acne or pimple marks, scars, under-eye circles, razor bump marks, spots, freckles, uneven skin tone, shaving scars, other unwanted bumps, extra nipples, shavers shadow, razor burns, Monty Burns, moles, stretch-marks, raisins, dark areas of skin, age spots, drooping eyeballs, birthmarks, chicken pox marks, skin blotches, decapitation, liver spots, leeches, crayons in your nose, Michael Jackson disease, or any other skin imperfections, you owe it to yourself to learn more about ...

well, maybe they can't actally help you with decapitiation...

there are so many home-based business opportunities to choose from I'd have to quit my job just to sort through the mail and choose one... if I were to fall for those... oh, wait, that's what happened to you?... I think there's an MLM-Anonymous group meeting somewhere online tonight... don't worry, you'll get through it... wait, here's one now that may help...

   Hello,

As seen on NBC, CBS, CNN, and even Oprah. As reported on in the New England Journal of Medicine. Reverses aging while burning fat, without dieting or exercise. Forget aging and dieting forever And it's Guaranteed!

     1.Body Fat Loss
     2.Wrinkle Reduction
     3.Increased Energy Levels
     4.Muscle Strength improvement
     5.Increased Sexual Potency
     6.Improved Emotional Stability
     7.Better Memory

Lose weight while building lean muscle mass and reversing the ravages of aging all at once.

Please visit our website to learn the facts about this quality health product and view our absolute satisfaction guarantee click here (stop looking for the link, this is satire)...

and just how many discount inkjet catridges does a person without an inkjet printer need, for goodness sake?...

and I wonder if getting the Norton or McAfee program will help stop the daily barrage of advertisements for the Norton and McAfee programs... and of course I can access my PC from anywhere with a myriad of other programs... and just imagine, we can eliminate all debt without bankruptcy...

almost daily I find out that my home finance loan, you remember, the one I never applied for, has been approved...

I can get any degree I would like, you know?... and get almost free health insurance, dental insurance, any insurance possible (except insurance against junk mail) and investment counseling, marriage counseling, divorce counseling, re-marriage counseling, and as usual, just about any sort of counseling you can think of except junk mail counseling (maybe I should open my own office)... and how about those emails that promise no more pop-ups (as they pop-up to prove they have some magical power over your computer screen)...

the good news is I have now officially pre-qualified for so many Visa and Master and Discover cards that I could happily live on credit for the rest of my life...

candora

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NOTE: Due to excessive comment SPAM, comments have been turned off... ironically, this month is the renewal for supergold membership and the comments feature... bad timing... you know how much I love feedback, so maybe there's be comments again one of these days... until then, please leave a note... thanks J