be random
what is now
when is then
where is email
who i am
how it is
why it is
leave a note?
share me, share you
make me smile
thank you

other journals
(of course I should be sleeping)
(what's life got to do with it?)

about me
(too much to know at once)
(tic tic tic, toc)


the bottom line
who can
when i had the time
the first of december (has another song)
what i do


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< ? harrychapin # >
< ? Random Acts of Journaling # >
< ? Poetic Voices # >
< ? The Write Club # >
< ? Nights Awake # >
< ? Fluid # >
< ? Adopted # >
< ? Childlike # >
< ? Poets-Muse # >
< ? Five Hundred # >
< ? As You Wish # >
temporary place holder




making it real

holy page views, batman... it is time to say thank you again... first, thank you to the people who spent some time here in this diary recently enough time to read (or at least pass through) every page, it seems, as a check of my stats shows some pretty big numbers of page hits the past couple of days (one day there were 940 page views!... I know some were me checking out some links, but wow, what can I say?... thank you for the new record... silly as it might seem, it feels wonderful (doesn't it?) and I will continue to translate those numbers into people caring even if it's all in my mind... it's a wonderful mind, or illusion, for me, at least)...

and 17... yes, 17... that is, 17 people have listed candora as a favorite... yeah, not dozens or hundreds (or thousands, like some people), but a grat number for me... and this too is such a sweet feeling, as silly as that might sound, to be listed as a favorite... I don't even know if all of those who list me as a favorite read this... in fact, I am fairly certain about half hardly ever do, if at all, but still the numbers fuel my fantasy of being widely read and adored (what?... they don't go hand in hand?... hey, it's my fantasy, remember?)... yes, illusions of grandeur can be a fun way to pass the nights, especially alone...

and the most serious thank you of all is... thank you (plural, but very specific yous, you know) for contacting me... your emails and calls (and notes and tags) brighten my rather dull offline life... especially the calls because life is always better when a human voice speaks directly into my ear (especially when there are nice friendly caring words coming out, but depth and mush are far from required... weather is fine... like one of my newest favorites says, "I'm all about the conversation"... see, you don't have to call up and fall in love or worship at the shrine of candora (though Egor, the ego, will not turn offerings of irrational praise away), you can just laugh or cry or be numb cuz real is what matters... you might even wake me (at your own risk, but then, what is life without risk)...

come to think of it, I suddenly need a new roommate... wait, seriously, Sam graduated from his masters program and has been looking for a job and found one in Jacksonville, so he's moving out... yes, so I actually do need a new roommate... anyone out there dare to take that on? (I suppose it would help if you wanted to live on the East side of Orlando, Florida, near the university)...


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NOTE: Due to excessive comment SPAM, comments have been turned off... ironically, this month is the renewal for supergold membership and the comments feature... bad timing... you know how much I love feedback, so maybe there's be comments again one of these days... until then, please leave a note... thanks J

I love you all for coming... for reading all these words
for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd)
if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight
I'd say
I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life