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be random what is now when is then where is email who i am how it is why it is leave a note? share me, share you make me smile thank you other journals (of course I should be sleeping) (what's life got to do with it?) about me (too much to know at once) friend? (tic tic tic, toc) BE MY GUEST (BOOK) << MISSING �SOMETHING? >> the bottom line who can when i had the time the first of december (has another song) what i do < ? me # > < ? harrychapin # > < ? Random Acts of Journaling # > < ? Poetic Voices # > < ? The Write Club # > < ? Nights Awake # > < ? Fluid # > < ? Adopted # > < ? Childlike # > < ? Poets-Muse # > < ? Five Hundred # > < ? As You Wish # > temporary place holder ()))CRAYON-BOX)))> published blogmad! varb? �2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS FOR ANY REASON TALK TO ME |
pudding for lunch now that last one felt a little watered down (groan), still certainly leaned toward the other place where the darker stuff goes to flow... but being here and with my consciousness playing mostly incognito, decisions about organization of writings is the last thought I didn't have tonight...
drinking a Dew to make it through the night thinking about life and happiness haven't a clue 'bout what to do tonight I know I've got to work so I won't be alone but I'll be even lonelier than if I was home for there is a lack of intimacy in my life today nobody loves me (and I mean that totally intimately) but I'm not looking for a superficial affair though I would love to find someone to sleep with each night what I want most is someone who'll really care actually I sleep during the day, I work at night but a real long hug would be alright still it's deeper than the sexual needs nobody knows how my heart bleeds nobody knows the dreams buried inside the wishes and desires too long denied I know I've got to work so I won't be alone but I'll be even lonelier than if I was home for there is a lack of intimacy in my life today nobody loves me (and I mean that totally intimately) but I'm not looking for a long distance romance though I would love to find someone to talk to each night what I want is someone who will share a slow dance and to share breakfast or lunch or a little day light and a real long hug would be alright yes a real long hug would be just right gee wiz, just imagine how lonely I might feel if I actually brought all my music back into my life and could put together mixes of lonely songs and cry my eyes out all by myself... yeah, like I really need '50s and '60s pop lonely songs (and those lost-love, love-up-and-died-and-left-me-here-with-nothing-but-this-broken-heart songs... sure cure for something)... but that would probably get me laughing at myself (through the tears) after a while... ultimately, the missing music is a large part of the lethargy that still lingers on and off (though not as much as last year), so returning to music is the best move I could make at this time (short of actually falling in love with someone falling in love with me, that is... mutual falling in love is always the best move, even if it seems more like madness)... hmmmm... once again I appear to be much more in the actual life and much less in the creative candoraland... or planet candora, for that matter... or whever the heck we are... obviously I need a good shot of irreverence (maybe?)... and sleep, mostly sleep (I may of forgotten how)... but shower and work and the dentist is gonna come first (and we think I'm a zombie now?... I should probably shave too)... now if you had any doubts about how much you are appreciated, all this lonely lament and exposure of vulnerability (especially here) should convince you that my thanks are genuine and heart felt and real... even when I am awake... so anybody wanna meet for lunch tomorrow?... I should be able to eat something mushy... mmmm, pudding for lunch...
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I love you all for coming... for reading all these words for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd) if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight I'd say I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life |