be random what is now when is then where is email who i am how it is why it is leave a note? share me, share you make me smile thank you other journals (of course I should be sleeping) (what's life got to do with it?) about me (too much to know at once) friend? (tic tic tic, toc) BE MY GUEST (BOOK) << MISSING �SOMETHING? >> the bottom line who can when i had the time the first of december (has another song) what i do < ? me # > < ? harrychapin # > < ? Random Acts of Journaling # > < ? Poetic Voices # > < ? The Write Club # > < ? Nights Awake # > < ? Fluid # > < ? Adopted # > < ? Childlike # > < ? Poets-Muse # > < ? Five Hundred # > < ? As You Wish # > temporary place holder ()))CRAYON-BOX)))> published blogmad! varb? �2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS IF YOU WANT TO USE THE WORDS FOR ANY REASON TALK TO ME |
re-runs what lingers in fingers, secretly, is the confession that privately, I adore you and you who do respond in some way, my wish to give you something more never be as fulfilled as I'd like, but in time, perhaps... I want to be overwhelmed by your positivity (and that which I can inspire), deserving of your respect, and worthy of your love... but sometimes when I get hungry, food is not enough... so are these confessions of a lonely ego feeling the illusions created by words like what lyrics can mean to me (or what the weather has to do with baklava), or maybe something more if I remember living and get over the fear... cuz here, there, or anywhere, I just want to love and be loved as openly and honestly and completely unconditionally as possible by the one who reaches my core and inspires my deepest desires... moments when I think about love, I know I want to love and be loved... over and over and on and on, continuously repeated endlessly... from nothing to infinity and beyond... and the attention of all of you is precious to me... life would be much emptier without you, but there is always something missing... while I want to love and be loved, more than anything else (in this world or anywhere), I just want the right person to love me... falling in love, I think about myself... maybe that is selfish, or narcissistic, but it is because I want the one I am falling into to know me (be me?... who's telling?) as completely as possible so I try to define my bottom line (don't try, just do it), the core of who I am... the parts that are permanent... always being discovered and clarified (and linked in the endless evolution of being part of the infinite)... so much yesterday awaits tomorrow as destiny or legacy for any and all of you to decide... I am so full of addictions and condradictions and questions, direct and obscure references, that sometimes everything feels so incomplete and I look up at the stars wondering - have I gotten so lonely that shallow temptations can bring doubts when asked a simple question about intimacy... but what if I actually did write this (or this) to you? are you conscious? (the madness or sadness or euphoria or whatever is all in your mind (or mine?... unless you don't think so or just throw up your hands)... I mean, I have my own questions, feelings, and philosophies about humanity, but I still demand hope from myself and somehow, no matter what (and what is matter, at that?... what?), always seem to find more... and more... sometimes I just want to hear a lullaby
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I love you all for coming... for reading all these words for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd) if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight I'd say I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life |