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when is then
where is email
who i am
how it is
why it is
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make me smile
thank you

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(what's life got to do with it?)

about me
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friend?
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MONOLOG

and the world still whirls around

sometime this week at work (what, where's the creative fantasy in work?... work has it's own journal, after all... ah, the critic speaks up... no fear, we shall put the little bugger back in the box full of boxes he loves so much... as I was saying), I received praise and appreciatin... this is a very rare occurance at the place where I work (you'd think that building self-esteem might be a higher priority at a psychiatric hospital, but it just shows to go ya)... it was in the form of two separate memos on two separate days... of course both had the inevitable but (thought one was a however, ain't managerial creativity grand?) with asking for something more... still, it felt good to read I love... from a director relating to something I did...

yes, appreciation is that scarce out there...

and then, the dentist worked me into a more convenient appointment and I now can eat real food for a few days (the left onlays are now permanent, yay for no more temporary caps)... once again the adorable eyes of the dental tech who prepped me were wonderful to stare into (the universe was kind, the rubber dam she was to build tore three times so she hovered over my face for the better part of an hour) and her gentle fingers, well, maybe my drooling wasn't just cuz of the dental work, know what I mean?... I return again next week and we start the process all over again with the two teeth on the right side... ah, yes, I look forward to more dental fantasies...

yes, the sensuality is scarce out there too...

and then there is the gym, a place this body actually started visiting again (after a few weeks of reverting back to laziness)... and the news is good as I the progress continues as I was able to jog three miles in thirty minutes which is my best pace yet (yes I know there is another journal for keeping track of how alive this body is, but I have neglected uploading there for a couple of weeks and I seem to be on a roll with catching up on the actual life I live {which also has yet another journal, comparably neglected}, so back in the box ye old OC tendency)... I still will not be truly happy until I can do ten miles in one hour (and I will be highly disappointed in myself if I die before I get back to that pace, but it is quite likely that I have passed my prime physically and that pace may be biting off more than this body can chew... the pessimist and the realist are both told to sit in respectively opposite corners {can't have them collaborating, after all} and the optimist chants: one step at a time and we shall see)... I must press myself, for it's just too easy to give into the couch-potato influences all around me...

yes, the motivation is scarce out there too...

meanwhile, me and my food-buddy (she loves food almost as much as I do and though she stays home every other night, we can count on meeting at a favorite restaurant most Saturdays for lunch or dinner... sometimes a movie or bowling or a rare other activity... but unfortunately nothing very active and she's usually asleep by 11PM or earlier... still, somebody is out there around here) went to our favorite Chinese buffet (which also serves American, Italian, and Japanese dishes) and pigged out to our heart's content (reward for returning to the gym)... then we saw Dreamcatcher and once again, a movie could not do Stephen King justice, but I enjoyed it anyway because I love the stories his mind conjures up... that was the extent of my social life for this week...

yes, you know...

and that was the week that was, I think... yes, there is a life behind the writer of these words after all... just not much of one these days, so the bulk of this diary is literary play and expressions of a mind that doesn't know when to stop thinking... it might seem a little depressing to face being as alone in the world as I am in the physical world, but maybe it's a little comforting to know that even as candora weaves wordy dreams and fantasies out of hopes and desires, the world still whirls around...

candora

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NOTE: Due to excessive comment SPAM, comments have been turned off... ironically, this month is the renewal for supergold membership and the comments feature... bad timing... you know how much I love feedback, so maybe there's be comments again one of these days... until then, please leave a note... thanks J




I love you all for coming... for reading all these words
for every click feels like more love (I know that sounds absurd)
if I could only tell you... one thing more tonight
I'd say
I wish you could come home with me and be my friends for life


ALL WORDS (C) 2015 CANDOR COMMUNICATIONS