Comments:

annie-m-s-b - 2004-05-08 16:08:30
I don't know what to say, I am speechless...... tears fall from my eyes, my heart hurts and yet it holds joy for you.... letting go, that's all. You never failed babe because you loved, you only fail if you don't love. letting go that's all this is for me....... letting go to pick myself up, dust myself off, and love once again...........
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candora - 2004-05-09 13:50:10
yay! (I think? :) it is a process for me too, a long term process, for I believe love is forever and it sure feels that way inside me as I feel it, so time, as brief as it may seem in this life when viewed in the scope of eternity, may seem quite long between attemtps to actualize love in this life... but even a decade of mourning and processing and healing is a rush job for me... that might not make sense to many, but it is the way i am. As for failure, the failure was in maintaining the permanent connection and while it was not my choice to disconnect (and in truth, I never did), it takes two to create or dissolve a relationship so I accept my part in the failure of the physical connection, even if it is just an extended pause, but you say the most important truth when you point out that in the big picture, any love shared is success and that is why, no matter how deep my despair or how pitiful I let myself get at times, my core remains in touch with the ecstasy (and confidence, joy, security, peace, stability, and overall self-contained happiness) that I define as me because it comes from this knowledge, that I did love, I do love, and I will always love because that is who I am, what I do, and why I am here. Being reminded, even more, being recognized for who I am and whatever good I may have done in this loife is the extra icing on the cake, the best reason of all to stay alive and keep reaching out and sharing. The bottom line is doing it, continuing to do it, loving, that is. Rejection, misunderstanding, even abuse or cruelty can not stop true love when we remember to be true to it. The love inside is where I live, nothing can change it, nothing can stop it, for it is everything that matters. Remembering this is all it takes to survive anything.
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